I don’t know who authored this fantastic piece: it’s powerful, full of knowledge, wisdom & educative! Please take time to read it over and over again….


A man’s character is his fate. Heraclitus Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (US), said: “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the *wrong mental attitude.”

As a clergyman, I have watched pitiably how people self-sabotage themselves by seeking spiritual solutions to character-deficit issues. They look around at everybody as suspects for their predicaments when their greatest demons lurks within them – their character.

What we often call our destiny is truly our character, and since that character can change, then destiny can be altered. Character is destiny .

Is prayer actually EVERYTHING? Many would begin to argue back and forth on this intriguing question, but my main purpose of writing this piece is not to get involved in arguments. Arguments don’t improve the validity of a ‘truth;’ they only determine how long it would take before you realise it.

Most people believe that we can pray ourselves to success and get away with virtually anything if we become a stickler to some prayer routines. There is no amount of spiritual penance that can substitute for character. Sometimes, you need character, not prayer.

Dutch Sheets said: “Prayer is not a check request asking for things from God; it is a deposit slip- a way of depositing God’s character into our bankrupt souls.”

British writer and politician, Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859), said: “ The measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” I have often said that what would ultimately destroy a man going to high places in life is not really the enemies that are waiting for him there, but the character that followed him there.

I want to emphatically underline the fact that this write-up is not meant to trivialise prayers in any way. I have observed that many people take character for granted, while overzealously tuning on into their spiritual mode.

We have become so spiritually in tune through prayers that we neglect the place of character and our relationship with people. Many are actually ‘heavenly’ bound, but with no earthly relevance. You can speak with spiritual eloquence, pray in public and maintain a holy appearance, but it is your behavior and character that will actually trigger the manifestation of all that God has for you.

You must learn to treat people with courtesy .
The Shunammite woman must have been praying for a child all through her life. By being hospitable to a man of God, she eventually got her much-awaited miracle. It wasn’t prayer that opened the door for her; it was her character. Assuming she wasn’t hospitable, she would have missed a critical miracle.

Many times, we pray, fast and bind demons that don’t exist when our real demons are just our greatly flawed character. Many have insulted people that were divinely placed and orchestrated to help them fulfil their destiny. Some people are keeping malice with their destiny helpers.

Treat people with respect.
Treat strangers with courtesy.
Never look down on anybody. God can use anyone to change your story.

Abigail Van Buren said: “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. The way we treat people we think can’t help or hurt us, like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries, tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. How do you treat people?

One of the most impressive architectural feats and the greatest military defence project in history is the Great Wall of China. In 1987, UNESCO designated the Great Wall a World Heritage site, and a popular controversial claim that emerged in the 20th century holds that it is the only man-made structure that is visible from space.

Originally conceived by Emperor Qin Shi Huang (c. 259-210 B.C.) in the 3rd Century B.C. as a means of preventing incursions from Mongolians and barbarian nomads into the Chinese Empire, the wall is one of the most extensive construction projects ever completed.

History has it that when the ancient Chinese decided to live in peace, they made the Great Wall of China; they thought no one could climb it due to its height. During the first 100 years of its existence, the Chinese were invaded thrice and every time, the hordes of enemy infantry had no need of penetrating or climbing over the wall, because each time, they bribed the guards and came through the doors.

The Chinese built the wall, but forgot the character – building of the wall-guards. Though the Great Wall has over the years become a powerful symbol of the country’s enduring strength and spirit, but it has actually been a good reminder to the Chinese of the superiority of human character.

The Chinese realised much later that the best defence against the enemy is not a fortified wall, but a fortified character. Thus, the building of human character comes before building of anything else.

Prayer is not EVERYTHING! Build relationships, and don’t ever forget that God will always use man. Be mindful of your words and how you speak to people. Work seriously on your character and attitude towards life.

I want to say emphatically that character is not optional; it is sacrosanct to the future that God has planned for you. No matter where you place prayers, character matters. The greatest fraud in life is religion without character. A man without character is recklessly alive.

William Shakespeare captured it succinctly when he said: “The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves .”

Peter Schutz, the former chief executive officer of Porsche said: “ HIRE CHARACTER; TRAIN SKILLS .”

Lastly, back in the days when Germany was divided, a huge wall separated East and West Berlin.

One day, some people in East Berlin took a truck load of garbage and dumped it on the West Berlin side.

The people of West Berlin could have done the same thing, but they didn’t.

Instead they took a truck load of canned goods, bread, milk and other provisions, and neatly stacked it on the East Berlin side.

On top of this stack they placed the sign:


How very true! You can only give what you have.

What do you have inside of you?
Is it hate or love ?
Violence or peace ?
Death or life ?
Capacity to build or capacity to destroy ?

What have you acquired over the years?
Team spirit or pull down architecture ?


Think about it!
Please give out the good in you always.



Trends in Etiquette Education and Workplace Readiness
Jan 6, 2020 | Etiquette Certification

Trends in Etiquette Education and Workplace Readiness

2020 is going to be a fabulous year…especially for those who want to teach children about manners, social skills and good character.

Did you know Google Education predicted the 8 global trends in education?

And guess what!

Life/Etiquette Skills and Workplace Readiness are on the list!
According to Google Education:

Parents and educators want children to have a more holistic education that goes beyond standardized testing to include social and vocational skills.

53% of teachers in the UK believe that “life skills are more important than academic qualifications in young people’s success”.

Studies shows that higher levels of emotional intelligence are linked with better leadership skills

Educators are looking for consultants and curriculums that prepare students for adult life which include life skills.

According to Goggle Education Here is What’s happening?

“91% of CEOs globally report they need to strengthen their organization’s soft skills to sit alongside digital skills.

Manners Classes for Charter Schools

The workplace is looking to improve soft skills.

Their needs are:




Are you surprised? I am not!

Are you ready to transform lives…your own and others?

We are here for you.

Let us guide you to a new way of life and the framework to start your business teaching manners to children.

“Learning virtues and values such as empathy and kindness, and developing emotional intelligence are equally as important as the math and science lessons that we teach, in order for children to understand themselves, their connection to others and to the world.”

Culled from


Protocol in event management in general is very crucial. When it comes to official government and elite events, involving nations attention to details and protocol essentials are paramount.

These include: Reasons for the ceremony, Terms of Reference, Time Management Precedence, Seating arrangements, Nitty gritty of titles and forms of address, Nominal order of Speaking, Gift Giving, Flag Etiquette, Cultural Differences, How to maneuver multiple anthems, personal diplomacy, Planning, Budgeting /Execution of the event, and finally the Appraisal at the end of the event.

Without gainsaying, Precedence  is the bedrock of protocol rules or essentials. It is regarded as the nominal importance of dignitaries at gathering of status symbols, government officials or otherwise.

To bring this home, in  the local church where I worship, older members of one the groups I belong get upset if their nominal number comes after newly joined members. You know what i mean. This is emotional out pour is very correct! Why? It is because Precedence is important.

Order of Precedence comes in to use in the following :

*Government, state, and diplomats, are present at functions e. g both seating at social functions, state cum official functions.

*Organisations where hierarchy must be respected

* Order of speakers

*Order of standing on stages at official functions

*Order of Receiving lines

*Ranking for announcements which could be presidential or otherwise

*Ranking for governors and other key officials in their own state and outside their own state.

*Academic Ceremonies

*Ecclesiastical Circles

When one has the knowledge of precedence, as a protocol officer or otherwise formulate seating arrangements, ranking etc, in consonance with what is done under accepted protocol practice.

However, there are some considerations which may warrant us to shift ground from the above though not really going out of Protocol. These include: friendship and respect, “principle of curtesy to the stranger,” linguistic ability of non ranking staff, unranked spouses, courtesy to ex officio, individuals ranked in respect of the role relevant to the event or date of appointment/date of joining the organisation.


Failure to recognize the proper rank and precedence of a guest is equivalent to an insult not only to individuals and their positions, but to the organizations, parastatals and countries they represent. SOURCE: Protocol: McCaffree and Innis.

At unofficial functions, in order not to ruffle feathers, it is best to bring to bear  the protocol that determines governmental, ecclesiastical, and diplomatic precedence in official life. More light is thrown on this in this link:

There has been strained relationships, open and embarrassing quarrels, even guest threatening to leave events because of non -recognition of rank.

Take the case of Femi Taiwo and Mrs. Bolanle Ambode, the First Lady of Lagos State.

Read story at this link below:



Protocol is the recognized system of international courtesy in which every action revolves around precedence. We expect that when nations meet, relationships are built! As such, meetings between governments be in line with universally accepted codes of conduct. The practice of Protocol was formalized in Vienna in the 19th Century


Miriam Webster defines it thus: “A code proscribing strict adherence to correct precedence, courtesy and etiquette in matters of military, diplomatic, or official and celebratory ceremonies.”

“It is the application of rank and precedence used when rendering courtesies, honors, to certain persons or agencies during events…………………………….”

“More formally, it consists of the rules prescribing the etiquette accorded to ceremonies of state.”

The term “protocol” is a Greek word, ‘proto-kollen. The former  meaning the first(protos) and the latter glue. It was then a symbolic paper glued to an official document giving it authenticity. Anyway, it means the first glue. Ironically, it can said to be the glue which holds official life in our society together. Protocol rears its head where two or more nations come together. Even, at local, state, federal, organizations etc it is there to strengthen official relationships.

However, protocol is not static. It changes and develop with trends in official life.

Succinctly put, Protocol: The Complete Handbook of Diplomatic, Official, and Social Usage……….defines protocol as the set of rules proscribing good manners in official in official life and in ceremonies involving governments and nations and their representatives.

Protocol is not political either. It is all about relationship building whether interpersonal or not, it is the first step to human relations and wide world cooperation .Maintaining formalities and order in interactions help us to convey respect. Everyone is at ease to enough to make contributions thereby arriving at a collective resolutions at anytime.


Egypt from history and recorded writings, used rules to govern everyday rituals. Remember, civilization started here. They realized Man had ego, self pride etc so for peaceful execution of events etc, rules were made! These rules evolved through the centuries to become what we now know as good manner. Practiced Protocol today!

A nation’s greatness is no longer the size of its army, economic strength or domineering stance., but, how perfect is their human relations in respect of curtesy, respect, ability to work with tact and diplomacy. Moreover, we the governed are now part of this whole process.

Detailed  History of Protocol can be found at this site:

However, protocol/diplomatic practices have moved from rigidity to simplicity over time. Finally, in every encounters whether diplomatic, business, military and even personal either officially or social, protocol underlines are expected.


Welcome to Josypat School of Etiquette and Protocol

A finishing school of poise, finesse, leadership, soft skills, diplomacy and tact.

An authority site of repute.

Etiquette: is an art and embodiment of rules or conventions governing correct or polite behaviour in society in general or in a particular social or professional group or situations.

Etiquette can also be referred to as Character Education. Everyone has one kind of character or the other which needs one form of polish or refining. Some individuals go to Finishing Schools to achieve this, especially when they become public figures or celebrities, unlike royalties who learn from their kid days. It is not suppose to be so. As such, its knowledge is meant for all right from the cradle to old age.

The family, organizations, institutions of learning, companies et al need etiquette. Some years ago, the Massachusettes offered a free course to all its students. Why? The Dean of Uundergraduates Affairs was described the students as “style – free, fashion challenged and manner – deprived,.” as reported New Scientist magazine. The one – day course included instruction in table manners, dress,
business and cell phone etiquette and ways to get acquinted with others, how to walk, sneeze discreetly, and were reminded that “small talk is dialogue, not an interrogation and how to say “thank you” when accepting a compliment.

Etiquette is broadly classified into parts:

Private life Etiquette
Business Etiquette
Social Etiquette
Children / Youth Etiquette
Workplace Etiquette
Public Place Etiquette
International Etiquette

Do we really need etiquette knowledge in our everyday life? Why must it be cultivated? We do, for us to have a better societies. For a country to have a conscience, the feelings of the next person or neighbour must be uppermost with respect to any taken action; whether it is from the point of leadership, management, appropriation of fund and duties if Character Education is not imbibed or inculcated in to our school curricula, a country will continue to be in the doldrums. Some of the below reasons can lend credit to the fact that we all need etiquette knowledge:

*To present oneself to the best of advantage over others e.g at interviews, business gatherings, conventions, special ceremonies etc

* We were not taught in school

*The world is changing, so are rules of behavior and expectations. 

* Expectations include Leadership skills, Interpersonal skills, Presentation skills, critical thinking skills, Computer and Online skills, Tact and Diplomacy.
*The Team Concept
*Job Mobility
*Conflict Resolution with ease and grace
*Embarassment proof in order to be polished and up to date
*Different Cultural Sensitivities especially this who travel locally and overseas
*To know how to behave in a wide variety of professional settings
*Arms one with all important tools for building solid, productive ties in business or otherwise

*Good communication skills either written or spoken which do not affect sensibilities.

*Personality enhancement with self respect, respect for others and the environment.

Take a look around you!! What do you see? People are negatively polite, nonchalant to one another. The world was once renowned for her civility and hospitality has become a gloge of many awkward and rude persons. Manners in totality no longer have any meaning to a lot of people.
The most obvious one is our dress sense, which is very appalling and questionable in my society. Problems are solved through violence, public relations nil, no respect for each other, students beating up teachers, name it.

All these in fact make human existence a struggle. In those good old days, crude mannerisms were frowned at, but today, the reverse is the case.

In the past century the beginning of manners decadence can be traced to 1914 when the World War 1 began. This was a blow to humanity. Up till date the decline has gradually affected the whole world. In summary, the terrible traits now commonly exhibited include:

Anything goes attitude where one is a master of himself/herself. Relativism is the order of the day, whereby a view on ethnical truths depends on the individuals and groups holding them.
Unwelcoming arrogance…comments like please, excuse me, let me help you, and take my seat, are no longer in our dictionary. Words like honor, compassion, civility and duty are now in trash cans.

Self-centeredness and greed…-this is explanatory. Anyone who puts himself first indulges in self-
worship, and cannot have good manners. Greed for money has led to many atrocities. Love for money and self have made people proud, boastful, haughty, and ungrateful. Disrespect for old age
and gray hairs are past tense.

All these traits manifest daily in our homes, schools, and place of work in different styles. People are now slanderous, impatient, fierce, and strangers to goodness. These forms of rudeness are not encouraging if, we want to actually change our societal values for the best. Anyway, it should be noted that rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength.

These bring us to the knowledge of Etoquette and Protocol and Cultural Intelliigence. These knowlege will be used to teach people skills or social skills which will hone our everyday interactions people anywhere and in any circumstance tt handle situations with confidence, respect, diplomacy and tact; save us from embarassment, otuclass the competition and bulid stronger ties in business and our personal lives; and increase our financial returns and skyrocket our self esteem and gain more social acceptance.

The definitions of etiquette are vast so as to be easy for the layman to understand although it has been defined above it can defined as:
(a) Conventional expectations with respect to social behaviour; proprieties of good character or social skills as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
(b)A prescribed or accepted code of ceremony, as in a court or unofficial or other formal observances

Also, it applies to code of ethics in professional practice or obeyed laid down rules set for the members of any profession in their dealings with one another.

We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behavior to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word ‘manus,’ the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour — the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.

Civility: it is a word gotten from ‘civitas’ which means city. It is understood that the life in the city

We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behaviour to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word ‘manus,’ the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour — the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.
refines or shapes our social skills. It is true, especially when you are coming from the countryside.

Ethics: these are the virtues which make us unique and principled. They include honesty, truth, transparency, equity, justice, integrity etc.
It was Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield who first used the word ‘etiquette’ in its modern meaning, in his Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming Man of the World and a Gentleman. He wrote over 400 letters to his son, from 1737 until his son’s death in 1768, and were most instructive letters on various aspect of life. The letters were first published by his son’s widow in 1774. Chesterfield endeavoured to decouple the issue of manners from conventional morality, supporting that mastery of etiquette was an important tool for social advancement. The Letters were full of elegant wisdom and perceptive observation and deduction.
Chesterfield epitomised the restraint of polite 18th-century society, writing, for instance, in 1748:
“I would heartily wish that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners; it is the manner in which he mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. …. neither of a melancholy nor a cynical disposition, and am as willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody; but I am sure that since I have had the full use of my reason nobody has ever heard me laugh.
During the Victorian period, etiquette had developed into hydra-headed set of rules, rearing its head in everything; from appearance to manner of how speak, actions, to the appropriate style for writing letters and correct usage of cutlery to the least regulated interactions between different gender; and the different strata in society. However today, etiquette knowldge cuts across Rites of Passage which include Birth, Baptism, and other ceremonies of Childhood, Engagement to be Married, Weddings, Separation and Divorse, Remarrige, Death, Funerals and Memoial Services. The Social Life which encompasses our Private Life in relation to oneself, others, environmemt, society and the globe at large; Royal, Diplomatic and other Formal Events; The Spoken and Written Word, Entertaining, Travelling outside your country, All your Relationships starting from your home to your Business Life and Attitude and Dress Sense. we should be aware that Africans have our culture too which may be slightly different from the general etiquette and there is no society on earth which does not have traditional or conventional rules that regulates their social behaviour. i am saying this because a lot think it is a Westernised Affair and it is only meant for the Whites. let be butress this by asking a question. When you want to get married, are there no procedures that are followed? they are in stages? These fall under Etiquette and Protocol! True or False. Let us make the world a better global village by our polished behavour.

The definition of etiquette can thus be defined thus: Etiquette is an embodiment of knowledge which teaches one how to behavave in any given situation no matter the context putting in mind consideration for others. The definition can also be put this way: Etiquette is a system of conventional rules that regulate social behaviour bearing in mind courtesy, politeness, civility and ethics.. Literally, it means ticket or card, and it refers to the ancient custom of a monarch setting forth ceremonial rules and regulations on these cards to be observed by attendees. It is pronounced /Eti. ket / .

Consideration for others and observance for monarch`s rules has been there as far back Anglo – Saxon time was part of Etiquette. It was even demonstrated in the epic poem Beowulf written 700 A.D when Queen Wealtheow, “mindful of etiquette,” handed the goblet first to the king, then to the courtiers, and finally to herself. Through the centuries, observance of this display of consideration has come to stay and remained unquestioned.

“Mindful etiquette is constant” is constant but etiquette rules are not, just as the world around us is not, for they keep evolving . this why we need to be going for training or keep updating. There are some conventional or traditional aspects of etiquette that have so much to do with our everyday life. They are not farfetched. They include being considerate of others, teaching children, even ourselves table manners, letter writing, gift giving, honouring a wedding, teamwork and getting along with people especially co-workers and family members, formal dinner parties, anniversaries, cocktails and other dated ceremonials. When one is conversant with the etiquette rules and expected behaviour, just as one admires a person when he or she behaves well and properly executes any planned duty, so our dispositions and capabilities are admired and commended too.

Below are words which one can mention as synonymous with etiquette because they all tilt towards having the same meaning:
Etiquette, decorum, social intelligence, proprieties imply observance and knowledge of the formal requirements governing behaviour in Best Society. Etiquette refers to conventional forms and usages: Decorum relates to dignity or poise: a fine sense of decorum.Proprieties implies established conventions of morals and good taste: The lady observes the proprieties always because she does not want embarrassment.
According to W. Thourlby, “People, like diamonds, have a basic market value, but it is only after they have been polished that the world will pay their real value.”
Look at the society today!!Decadence is everywhere. Manners have been thrown to the winds. If I should say, the animals are moreorganised and responsible than some humans; it may not go down well with some people. To some extent, however, it is a fact.

All the same at this point in my life, the zeal, innate urge to be of relevant to my generation, is uppermost in my heart and it is being expressed in black and white(statement made by me 12 years plus ago!). anyway, a story for another day.

You know significant changes through out history have occurred NOT because of armies, committees, nations, and governments, but as result of the courage and commitment of individuals. A voice can make change, even if not a significant one. But remember, change always follows a revolution. We want you to know. In fact, you need to know.

It is time for a meaningful and positive change. Currently, Etiquette is raising its head in all speres of life and we want you not to be left out! Note! Parents are so busy they hardly have time for their kids, let alone teach them deportment. The normal school subjects are not enough.
Etiquette seminars are not meant for students at all levels alone, but for the teachers too, corporate bodies, associations, non-profit organizations, restaurants, hotels, companies etc, name it. Etiquette does not necessarily mean financial strength, but poise, confidence, conscience, good communication, dress sense, being responsible, and ability to handle conflict/criticisms

Debrett`s New Guide to Etiquette & Modern Manners by John Morgan , Headline, 1996

Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette by Nancy Tuckerman and Nancy Dunnan

Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni