10 habits of phenomenally likeable persons

Photo credit: Ben Smith, Flickr
Being good at what you do is obviously important, but being liked by your coworkers, colleagues and clients is just as important. Without the likeability factor, people are going to be less likely to want to work with you, which can have devastating consequences in business.

Here are 10 habits of phenomenally likable people:

1. They have the BLT factor.
In this case, BLT stands for believability, likability and trustworthiness. Cultivate a reputation that embodies these three key traits. When clients decide with whom to do business, they ask themselves, “Is Mike capable of the work and will I enjoy working with him?” Obviously both criteria matter, but when we need help getting a job done, we most likely choose a congenial person over a more capable but less cordial one.

2. They show empathy.
The struggles and triumphs of your life affect how you empathize with others. Empathy doesn’t require you to agree with someone else’s opinion. You can politely agree to disagree while you thoughtfully consider his or her feelings. Respect others and try to find common ground. A shared experience can form an instant bond.

3. They are reliable.
Entrepreneurs who are consistent and dependable will win contracts and develop long-term professional relationships. Your clients need to know they can count on you to deliver the work reliably. Do your job well and people will begin to see you as consistent and trustworthy.

4. They tell the truth.
It sounds easy until you’re late on a project and over-budget. When you’re faced with a choice, always choose honesty over deception. Integrity has become a rare trait in the business world. All relationships require honesty, but professionalism is rooted in your personal integrity. Always use your best judgment and be transparent with those with whom you interact.

5. They ask questions.
Show sincere curiosity in the lives of others. Ask open-ended questions that begin with “Tell me…” Then really listen to the answer. You’ll discover more about your clients, colleagues and friends through effective listening. Your genuine interest will earn you the respect and appreciation of those around you.

6. They keep an open mind.
When you judge others harshly or gossip on a regular basis, you invite negativity into your life. Consider the opinions of others before you reject them based on your preconceived notions. Everyone is afraid of rejection. When you show others that you’re open, accepting and kind, you’ll attract more friends and opportunities.

7. They show engagement.
Your body language speaks louder than your words. Some gestures, such as crossing your arms or putting your hands in your pockets, can make you appear withdrawn from a situation. When you talk to someone, open up. Make consistent eye contact, smile and nod occasionally.

8. They make a good first impression.
Everyone forms immediate judgments about the people they meet. To make a great first impression, exhibit your professionalism and character. What you wear matters. Dress to impress by wearing clothes that fit well and are in good condition. When you greet someone, introduce yourself and give a firm handshake.

9. They share the limelight.
It’s wonderful to be recognized for your achievements and hard work. However, don’t forget to thank those who helped you along the way. Publicly recognize employees and partners who have worked tirelessly next to you. Don’t monopolize the spotlight or try to give the impression that you’re more important. Instead, be friendly and considerate of others and give credit where credit is due.

10. They work hard at remembering names.
There’s no better way to build a relationship with someone than to remember his name. This simple, yet powerful gesture, makes others feel valued and respected and can help you build a large professional network. Deliberately practice remembering names when you meet new connections. It takes a bit of time and effort, but remembering someone’s name can make a difference in how that person feels about you and your brand.

Culled from jacquelinewhitmore.com


Good morning .I trust we are all keeping well, and I trust that we are observing recommendations from notable sources on social distancing, frequent hand washing, the use of hand sanitizers, face masks, etc etc etc

I want to draw to your attention the need to also be very security conscious this period

2020 has been a very trying year. A lot has happened back to back. A large majority of individuals who earn a living by riding motorcycles and tricycles lost their jobs and have been having a hard time and now the economy is shutting down, with a possibility of a lockdown happening any moment from now.

No provision is being made for the welfare of the lower class

A lot of the security forums I belong to are predicting a sharp rise in crime… armed robbery, theft, kidnapping, molestations, etc. Simply because people are suffering. A lot of people no longer have a viable source of income. They have tried borrowing, begging and may now resort to stealing.

Please ensure you take necessary precautionary measures to secure your loved ones, homes and properties!
Here are few tips to help us out!

At home:
-Ensure proper lighting.
-Ensure doors and gates are properly locked at night. Never lock a gate using a padlock from outside at night.
-Those that can tolerate guard dogs, get a few.
-Those with security fences, ensure they working.
-If you can get CCTV systems in place, please do (The fear of being caught is often one of the greatest deterrents to crime).
-Limit late nights.
-Be aware of your surroundings. Take note of parked cars, individuals loitering, etc
-Those in estates, ensure you have an emergency response plan (what happens if you or your neighbors are under attack? do you have a way of rapidly alerting the estate security?).
-Ensure all your domestic workers are properly vetted.
-Get an insurance plan
-If your car has an alarm system, always sleep with the remote by your bedside. If you have cause to suspect that someone is trying to forcefully gain entrance into your home, activate the alarm. In a residential environment, this is usually very loud and hopefully will scare the criminals away.
-Be your neighbors keeper. Look out for them. If you have information or observe something that can help, please speak up.

In Transit:
-Try as much as possible to get home while it’s still light outside
-Be observant of vehicles and individuals around you
-Reduce the use of mobile phones, tablets and laptops in traffic (especially if you do not have tinted glasses)
-Do not keep bags, wallets or any valuable item on the chair. This also applies when parking in a public place.
-Keep your car doors locked at all times. This also applies when parking in a public place
-While driving home, lookout for cars following you, look out for cars parked too close to your gate, watch out for unfamiliar individuals in your neighborhood.
-Reduce the use of third party individuals to handle the transportation of your loved ones
-Do not allow your drivers/gatemen know your travel/daily itinerary
-Do not make unscheduled stops in questionable areas. If you have a flat, manage the car to a properly lit place. Worst case scenario is that the the (which usually costs between N10k and N100k) gets damaged.

Personal Lives:
-Be very wary of having business discussions around drivers, especially those that concern money, projects, affiliation with known individuals, etc
-Ensure you carry out comprehensive background on existing and new domestic staff hires
-Reduce road trips. Always travel by air if the option is available
-Always let your loved ones know where you are and when you should be expected home.
-Always know the whereabouts of your loved ones and their itinerary. Get frequent updates and act immediately you feel something is out of place.
-Avoid excessive and public show of wealth
-When giving, as much as possible, do so anonymously

May God continue to keep us all. Amen.



“Introductions are a necessity, because, in a curious way, until someone is introduced into a group, socially they only half exist,” says John Morgan. Introduction brings class, poise, social competence and confidence to all in a setting. We come across people all the time in different types of social and business context or situations, what are our dispositions? Do you forget to make Introduction in your encounters? Mannerisms displayed when we meet and how we greet people in those instances, go a long way to leave indelible impressions that could pave way for either a productive or unproductive encounter. There is always no second time to make good first impressions. It is rare anyway! This brings us to the nitty gritty of the art introduction as a topic.
Why is introduction important? It is because it s a forerunner to more information about anyone. It puts the maker of the introduction in good light, removes indifference, conveys a level of respect amongst all parties, removes discomfort embarrassment and self pity.
Most people are either shy, do not have the courage to introduce themselves to a person they have never met or known, except it is done by third party who know both of them. Friends, there is always a first time, just do it yourself in any social or business function. Sometimes in parties one finds guest sitting in one corner wallowing in self pity or feeling supposedly cool with no one to talk to, warm to him or her and make an introduction, and a beneficial conversation may follow. Or you can introduce the person to someone who shares same profession, likes, same ideology or language if you know both of them, especially when you are the Host or hostess.

Shades of introduction:

There are two basic types of introduction. Business and Social introductions.
Business  Introduction in business is not based on gender, but on career status, in all occasions.

Persons of lower authority are introduced to persons of higher authority. The person to whom the introduction is made is mentioned first and the introduced last. For example, Mr. or Mrs. Lower personality meet Higher personality. However, a customer or client must be regarded as “higher authority” over anyone in your organization. The same process of introduction occurs.
Some examples of order of prestige in introductions are shown below:   

A customer and person working in your company

Example: Mr. Chukwuemeka, this is Mrs. Atata, our Accounting Officer. Mr. Chukwuemeka is our customer from Nnewi. The customer is more important. The customer is the one keeps you in business!         

A non-official to an elected official. Example: Honorable Bob Manuel, allow me to introduce David Hastrup from the Post Express.
Always introduce anyone from the press to a public official fully for very obvious reasons, for he could be speaking on record.

Social Introductions:

The meaning is obvious and different totally from the business one which is more uptight.

Introducing World Personalities at social functions:

.Precedence is the language of protocol. Rules of international diplomatic protocol states persons should be presented to the Pope, presidents, royalty, ambassadors, ministers, dignitaries of the church, without regard to age or gender. Outside the above, gender, age, social status can now be considered in other social  introductions. No rules to introducing age group.
Other introductionsRelatives should be introduced with a good clarification to their relations with you, in order to ward of misrepresentation.
Introductions should not end in just names alone, but a piece of information about the persons may  be added.
A conversation may roll in because of that unique  information.
Good introduction of yourself, and carriage can make you a star performer especially in the business arena. Here are some tips .
How to make an entrance and work in the roomThis refers to your entrying a room with confidence without butterflies in your stomac, mingling abilities, including the art of introductions and conversation expertise.Also, one should dress to match the occasion. note: it is how you are dressesd that you will be addressed!
All the same, at the venue one alights from the car and heads to the door. At the doorway, you can scan the room,  full  beautiful, corporate and intelligent people you have  never met before, butterflies now develop in your stomach and your heart skips, while your legs wobble a bit. What is your next action? With your confidence gone, you  now  heads sideways until someone you  know either comes around;  you remain there until the occasion comes to an end. Could  you have attended a party or business/social function? No!.However the appropriate thing to do when you make an entrance walk straight through to the centre of the room with confidence and meet your host. If you are not alone introduce the persons you are with to your host.
Introducing yourself:You can say hello or use the form of greeting you want to adopt to people you meet on the way to meet your host. With a thin smile on your lips your host will introduce you to four or five persons having a chat close by.
On the contrary you find yourself alone and feeling low, just go over to a group of people discussing (not two people engrossed in a conversation) just smile and when someone amongst them acknowledges your presence or as soon as there is a pause in their conversation, smile, offer to shake hands maintain eye contact introduce yourself telling them your name without any prefixes and concisely state your relationship with the host and if a business function, describe yourself in terms of what you do and ask if you may join them. This should be modesty done with common sense. You can equally introduce yourself to just the closet person to you too  in the manner above
Sometimes the host may be too busy greeting guest, so he may appoint other guest, representatives of the company if it is a business, function to be greeters. In this case the greeter introduces him/herself and accompanies the guest to the host  for introductions to the host and other guests or taken the bar to have drinks
Introducing othersWhen introducing a group pf people to each other, always use first names and surnames. This help to distinguish person who share the same first names. It s however important to use a little in the introduction if, the person is a doctor, in the military, clergy, engineer or a lawyer.
Your husband should be introduced in this manner to a friend “I d like you to meet my husband Patrick” (or “Patrick Kagua)’ do not refer to him as “Mr. Patrick” or Dr. White. This introduction takes the same order when you are being introduced by him too.
In some societies, some married women like to retain their maiden name. examples include Benezier Bhutto of Pakistan, Late MEE of  then classique magazine, Onyeka Onwenu and many others. When introducing a woman of such and her husband, it should be in this order “this is Doris Day and her husband bassey Okon”. When introducing an unmarried couple living together, say thus “I like you to meet Philomena Emmanuel and her companion Nelson White.” It is not your business  to mention they are co habiting.
In a formal introduce introduction, “How do you do,” a salutation, not a question, followed by the peson’s name is the response. When someone greets you, “How do you do, your response should be same.
In our culture, older persons and bosses are always respected. When for example you want to introduce your wife to your boss, always add his prefix to his name. “Dr. Nwachukwu, I’ d like to introduce my wife Stella to you. Stella this is Dr. Nwachukwu, our chairman/Managing Director.
Never repeat a peson name when introduced to you in an informal meeting. Just reply with a simle ‘helow’ or “ I’ve heard a lot about you,” if is true. Times have changed. Not the usual “I am pleased or delighted to meet you.
You could be taking a walk with a friend and another friend of yours stops to say hello. Learn to introduce the persons you are with. It is saucy to ignore his presence. In a restaurant, you find someone you know siting with friends, just say hello and pass by. Do not stop to chat. It more or less destabilizes every body, from his friends to waiters etc.
A speaker at a banquette or some officall  function should be introduced with his full names, “it gives me great  pleasure to present Paul Nimyel Okaka.”
Posture when introducedWomen and men should stand up when introduced to a member of the clergy, elderly persons, dignitary and guest of honour. Host and hostess always stand up to greet each guest who enters the party room. A man should always stand up when being introduced to a woman. The latter can it if she chooses except the person is very much older  than her. When being introduced to a stranger always shake hands.
Once you have been introduced to somebody you always acknowledge him wherever you meet. This  is because  selective social memory is a charmless.
Shaking hands and the social kissYour handshake speak a lot about you. A firm one indicates a confident, courageous and daring person. In our culture a woman should wait for a man to extend his hands first especially if he is older. A younger person does not extend his/her hand to greet an elder. Although, some traditions  expect the woman to make the move, it is the woman’s right to accept the man any. When dealing with amputees always extend your right hand even though they do not have one.
Greeting members and close allies. When this is to be done, go for the right side of the left one depending on your mood anyway. Most Europeans usually do this too. Have you watched Presidents when receiving foreign visitors?



I don’t know who authored this fantastic piece: it’s powerful, full of knowledge, wisdom & educative! Please take time to read it over and over again….


A man’s character is his fate. Heraclitus Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (US), said: “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the *wrong mental attitude.”

As a clergyman, I have watched pitiably how people self-sabotage themselves by seeking spiritual solutions to character-deficit issues. They look around at everybody as suspects for their predicaments when their greatest demons lurks within them – their character.

What we often call our destiny is truly our character, and since that character can change, then destiny can be altered. Character is destiny .

Is prayer actually EVERYTHING? Many would begin to argue back and forth on this intriguing question, but my main purpose of writing this piece is not to get involved in arguments. Arguments don’t improve the validity of a ‘truth;’ they only determine how long it would take before you realise it.

Most people believe that we can pray ourselves to success and get away with virtually anything if we become a stickler to some prayer routines. There is no amount of spiritual penance that can substitute for character. Sometimes, you need character, not prayer.

Dutch Sheets said: “Prayer is not a check request asking for things from God; it is a deposit slip- a way of depositing God’s character into our bankrupt souls.”

British writer and politician, Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859), said: “ The measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” I have often said that what would ultimately destroy a man going to high places in life is not really the enemies that are waiting for him there, but the character that followed him there.

I want to emphatically underline the fact that this write-up is not meant to trivialise prayers in any way. I have observed that many people take character for granted, while overzealously tuning on into their spiritual mode.

We have become so spiritually in tune through prayers that we neglect the place of character and our relationship with people. Many are actually ‘heavenly’ bound, but with no earthly relevance. You can speak with spiritual eloquence, pray in public and maintain a holy appearance, but it is your behavior and character that will actually trigger the manifestation of all that God has for you.

You must learn to treat people with courtesy .
The Shunammite woman must have been praying for a child all through her life. By being hospitable to a man of God, she eventually got her much-awaited miracle. It wasn’t prayer that opened the door for her; it was her character. Assuming she wasn’t hospitable, she would have missed a critical miracle.

Many times, we pray, fast and bind demons that don’t exist when our real demons are just our greatly flawed character. Many have insulted people that were divinely placed and orchestrated to help them fulfil their destiny. Some people are keeping malice with their destiny helpers.

Treat people with respect.
Treat strangers with courtesy.
Never look down on anybody. God can use anyone to change your story.

Abigail Van Buren said: “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. The way we treat people we think can’t help or hurt us, like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries, tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. How do you treat people?

One of the most impressive architectural feats and the greatest military defence project in history is the Great Wall of China. In 1987, UNESCO designated the Great Wall a World Heritage site, and a popular controversial claim that emerged in the 20th century holds that it is the only man-made structure that is visible from space.

Originally conceived by Emperor Qin Shi Huang (c. 259-210 B.C.) in the 3rd Century B.C. as a means of preventing incursions from Mongolians and barbarian nomads into the Chinese Empire, the wall is one of the most extensive construction projects ever completed.

History has it that when the ancient Chinese decided to live in peace, they made the Great Wall of China; they thought no one could climb it due to its height. During the first 100 years of its existence, the Chinese were invaded thrice and every time, the hordes of enemy infantry had no need of penetrating or climbing over the wall, because each time, they bribed the guards and came through the doors.

The Chinese built the wall, but forgot the character – building of the wall-guards. Though the Great Wall has over the years become a powerful symbol of the country’s enduring strength and spirit, but it has actually been a good reminder to the Chinese of the superiority of human character.

The Chinese realised much later that the best defence against the enemy is not a fortified wall, but a fortified character. Thus, the building of human character comes before building of anything else.

Prayer is not EVERYTHING! Build relationships, and don’t ever forget that God will always use man. Be mindful of your words and how you speak to people. Work seriously on your character and attitude towards life.

I want to say emphatically that character is not optional; it is sacrosanct to the future that God has planned for you. No matter where you place prayers, character matters. The greatest fraud in life is religion without character. A man without character is recklessly alive.

William Shakespeare captured it succinctly when he said: “The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves .”

Peter Schutz, the former chief executive officer of Porsche said: “ HIRE CHARACTER; TRAIN SKILLS .”

Lastly, back in the days when Germany was divided, a huge wall separated East and West Berlin.

One day, some people in East Berlin took a truck load of garbage and dumped it on the West Berlin side.

The people of West Berlin could have done the same thing, but they didn’t.

Instead they took a truck load of canned goods, bread, milk and other provisions, and neatly stacked it on the East Berlin side.

On top of this stack they placed the sign:


How very true! You can only give what you have.

What do you have inside of you?
Is it hate or love ?
Violence or peace ?
Death or life ?
Capacity to build or capacity to destroy ?

What have you acquired over the years?
Team spirit or pull down architecture ?


Think about it!
Please give out the good in you always.



Trends in Etiquette Education and Workplace Readiness
Jan 6, 2020 | Etiquette Certification

Trends in Etiquette Education and Workplace Readiness

2020 is going to be a fabulous year…especially for those who want to teach children about manners, social skills and good character.

Did you know Google Education predicted the 8 global trends in education?

And guess what!

Life/Etiquette Skills and Workplace Readiness are on the list!
According to Google Education:

Parents and educators want children to have a more holistic education that goes beyond standardized testing to include social and vocational skills.

53% of teachers in the UK believe that “life skills are more important than academic qualifications in young people’s success”.

Studies shows that higher levels of emotional intelligence are linked with better leadership skills

Educators are looking for consultants and curriculums that prepare students for adult life which include life skills.

According to Goggle Education Here is What’s happening?

“91% of CEOs globally report they need to strengthen their organization’s soft skills to sit alongside digital skills.

Manners Classes for Charter Schools

The workplace is looking to improve soft skills.

Their needs are:




Are you surprised? I am not!

Are you ready to transform lives…your own and others?

We are here for you.

Let us guide you to a new way of life and the framework to start your business teaching manners to children.

“Learning virtues and values such as empathy and kindness, and developing emotional intelligence are equally as important as the math and science lessons that we teach, in order for children to understand themselves, their connection to others and to the world.”

Culled from mannerstogo.com


Protocol in event management in general is very crucial. When it comes to official government and elite events, involving nations attention to details and protocol essentials are paramount.

These include: Reasons for the ceremony, Terms of Reference, Time Management Precedence, Seating arrangements, Nitty gritty of titles and forms of address, Nominal order of Speaking, Gift Giving, Flag Etiquette, Cultural Differences, How to maneuver multiple anthems, personal diplomacy, Planning, Budgeting /Execution of the event, and finally the Appraisal at the end of the event.

Without gainsaying, Precedence  is the bedrock of protocol rules or essentials. It is regarded as the nominal importance of dignitaries at gathering of status symbols, government officials or otherwise.

To bring this home, in  the local church where I worship, older members of one the groups I belong get upset if their nominal number comes after newly joined members. You know what i mean. This is emotional out pour is very correct! Why? It is because Precedence is important.

Order of Precedence comes in to use in the following :

*Government, state, and diplomats, are present at functions e. g both seating at social functions, state cum official functions.

*Organisations where hierarchy must be respected

* Order of speakers

*Order of standing on stages at official functions

*Order of Receiving lines

*Ranking for announcements which could be presidential or otherwise

*Ranking for governors and other key officials in their own state and outside their own state.

*Academic Ceremonies

*Ecclesiastical Circles

When one has the knowledge of precedence, as a protocol officer or otherwise formulate seating arrangements, ranking etc, in consonance with what is done under accepted protocol practice.

However, there are some considerations which may warrant us to shift ground from the above though not really going out of Protocol. These include: friendship and respect, “principle of curtesy to the stranger,” linguistic ability of non ranking staff, unranked spouses, courtesy to ex officio, individuals ranked in respect of the role relevant to the event or date of appointment/date of joining the organisation.


Failure to recognize the proper rank and precedence of a guest is equivalent to an insult not only to individuals and their positions, but to the organizations, parastatals and countries they represent. SOURCE: Protocol: McCaffree and Innis.

At unofficial functions, in order not to ruffle feathers, it is best to bring to bear  the protocol that determines governmental, ecclesiastical, and diplomatic precedence in official life. More light is thrown on this in this link: https://josypatschoolofetiquetteandprotocol.com/precedence-in-protocol/

There has been strained relationships, open and embarrassing quarrels, even guest threatening to leave events because of non -recognition of rank.

Take the case of Femi Taiwo and Mrs. Bolanle Ambode, the First Lady of Lagos State.

Read story at this link below:




Protocol is the recognized system of international courtesy in which every action revolves around precedence. We expect that when nations meet, relationships are built! As such, meetings between governments be in line with universally accepted codes of conduct. The practice of Protocol was formalized in Vienna in the 19th Century


Miriam Webster defines it thus: “A code proscribing strict adherence to correct precedence, courtesy and etiquette in matters of military, diplomatic, or official and celebratory ceremonies.”

“It is the application of rank and precedence used when rendering courtesies, honors, to certain persons or agencies during events…………………………….”

“More formally, it consists of the rules prescribing the etiquette accorded to ceremonies of state.”

The term “protocol” is a Greek word, ‘proto-kollen. The former  meaning the first(protos) and the latter glue. It was then a symbolic paper glued to an official document giving it authenticity. Anyway, it means the first glue. Ironically, it can said to be the glue which holds official life in our society together. Protocol rears its head where two or more nations come together. Even, at local, state, federal, organizations etc it is there to strengthen official relationships.

However, protocol is not static. It changes and develop with trends in official life.

Succinctly put, Protocol: The Complete Handbook of Diplomatic, Official, and Social Usage……….defines protocol as the set of rules proscribing good manners in official in official life and in ceremonies involving governments and nations and their representatives.

Protocol is not political either. It is all about relationship building whether interpersonal or not, it is the first step to human relations and wide world cooperation .Maintaining formalities and order in interactions help us to convey respect. Everyone is at ease to enough to make contributions thereby arriving at a collective resolutions at anytime.


Egypt from history and recorded writings, used rules to govern everyday rituals. Remember, civilization started here. They realized Man had ego, self pride etc so for peaceful execution of events etc, rules were made! These rules evolved through the centuries to become what we now know as good manner. Practiced Protocol today!

A nation’s greatness is no longer the size of its army, economic strength or domineering stance., but, how perfect is their human relations in respect of curtesy, respect, ability to work with tact and diplomacy. Moreover, we the governed are now part of this whole process.

Detailed  History of Protocol can be found at this site: https://www.protocol.dubai.ae

However, protocol/diplomatic practices have moved from rigidity to simplicity over time. Finally, in every encounters whether diplomatic, business, military and even personal either officially or social, protocol underlines are expected.


Welcome to Josypat School of Etiquette and Protocol

A finishing school of poise, finesse, leadership, soft skills, diplomacy and tact.

An authority site of repute.

Etiquette: is an art and embodiment of rules or conventions governing correct or polite behaviour in society in general or in a particular social or professional group or situations.

Etiquette can also be referred to as Character Education. Everyone has one kind of character or the other which needs one form of polish or refining. Some individuals go to Finishing Schools to achieve this, especially when they become public figures or celebrities, unlike royalties who learn from their kid days. It is not suppose to be so. As such, its knowledge is meant for all right from the cradle to old age.

The family, organizations, institutions of learning, companies et al need etiquette. Some years ago, the Massachusettes offered a free course to all its students. Why? The Dean of Uundergraduates Affairs was described the students as “style – free, fashion challenged and manner – deprived,.” as reported New Scientist magazine. The one – day course included instruction in table manners, dress,
business and cell phone etiquette and ways to get acquinted with others, how to walk, sneeze discreetly, and were reminded that “small talk is dialogue, not an interrogation and how to say “thank you” when accepting a compliment.

Etiquette is broadly classified into parts:

Private life Etiquette
Business Etiquette
Social Etiquette
Children / Youth Etiquette
Workplace Etiquette
Public Place Etiquette
International Etiquette

Do we really need etiquette knowledge in our everyday life? Why must it be cultivated? We do, for us to have a better societies. For a country to have a conscience, the feelings of the next person or neighbour must be uppermost with respect to any taken action; whether it is from the point of leadership, management, appropriation of fund and duties if Character Education is not imbibed or inculcated in to our school curricula, a country will continue to be in the doldrums. Some of the below reasons can lend credit to the fact that we all need etiquette knowledge:

*To present oneself to the best of advantage over others e.g at interviews, business gatherings, conventions, special ceremonies etc

* We were not taught in school

*The world is changing, so are rules of behavior and expectations. 

* Expectations include Leadership skills, Interpersonal skills, Presentation skills, critical thinking skills, Computer and Online skills, Tact and Diplomacy.
*The Team Concept
*Job Mobility
*Conflict Resolution with ease and grace
*Embarassment proof in order to be polished and up to date
*Different Cultural Sensitivities especially this who travel locally and overseas
*To know how to behave in a wide variety of professional settings
*Arms one with all important tools for building solid, productive ties in business or otherwise

*Good communication skills either written or spoken which do not affect sensibilities.

*Personality enhancement with self respect, respect for others and the environment.

Take a look around you!! What do you see? People are negatively polite, nonchalant to one another. The world was once renowned for her civility and hospitality has become a gloge of many awkward and rude persons. Manners in totality no longer have any meaning to a lot of people.
The most obvious one is our dress sense, which is very appalling and questionable in my society. Problems are solved through violence, public relations nil, no respect for each other, students beating up teachers, name it.

All these in fact make human existence a struggle. In those good old days, crude mannerisms were frowned at, but today, the reverse is the case.

In the past century the beginning of manners decadence can be traced to 1914 when the World War 1 began. This was a blow to humanity. Up till date the decline has gradually affected the whole world. In summary, the terrible traits now commonly exhibited include:

Anything goes attitude where one is a master of himself/herself. Relativism is the order of the day, whereby a view on ethnical truths depends on the individuals and groups holding them.
Unwelcoming arrogance…comments like please, excuse me, let me help you, and take my seat, are no longer in our dictionary. Words like honor, compassion, civility and duty are now in trash cans.

Self-centeredness and greed…-this is explanatory. Anyone who puts himself first indulges in self-
worship, and cannot have good manners. Greed for money has led to many atrocities. Love for money and self have made people proud, boastful, haughty, and ungrateful. Disrespect for old age
and gray hairs are past tense.

All these traits manifest daily in our homes, schools, and place of work in different styles. People are now slanderous, impatient, fierce, and strangers to goodness. These forms of rudeness are not encouraging if, we want to actually change our societal values for the best. Anyway, it should be noted that rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength.

These bring us to the knowledge of Etoquette and Protocol and Cultural Intelliigence. These knowlege will be used to teach people skills or social skills which will hone our everyday interactions people anywhere and in any circumstance tt handle situations with confidence, respect, diplomacy and tact; save us from embarassment, otuclass the competition and bulid stronger ties in business and our personal lives; and increase our financial returns and skyrocket our self esteem and gain more social acceptance.

The definitions of etiquette are vast so as to be easy for the layman to understand although it has been defined above it can defined as:
(a) Conventional expectations with respect to social behaviour; proprieties of good character or social skills as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
(b)A prescribed or accepted code of ceremony, as in a court or unofficial or other formal observances

Also, it applies to code of ethics in professional practice or obeyed laid down rules set for the members of any profession in their dealings with one another.

We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behavior to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word ‘manus,’ the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour — the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.

Civility: it is a word gotten from ‘civitas’ which means city. It is understood that the life in the city

We should remember that etiquette must embody courtesy, politeness, manners, civility and ethics. Courtesy: this is tied to the courts of royalty, where full elegance and respect is expected. This can be applicable locally or otherwise wherever we fond ourselves.

Politeness: it is a word used on those who have spent a lot of whatever it took to polish or refine their behaviour to be the best of persons. Although, politeness could be hypocrisy but 90% not always.
Manners: it is gotten from the Greek word ‘manus,’ the Latin word for hand. Manner is the way something is carried out or handled. Manners, now synonymous in social interaction with behaviour — the way we handle meetings (encounter), between self and the other person. When we handle others with care, respect, it shows and we are termed to have good manners.
refines or shapes our social skills. It is true, especially when you are coming from the countryside.

Ethics: these are the virtues which make us unique and principled. They include honesty, truth, transparency, equity, justice, integrity etc.
It was Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield who first used the word ‘etiquette’ in its modern meaning, in his Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming Man of the World and a Gentleman. He wrote over 400 letters to his son, from 1737 until his son’s death in 1768, and were most instructive letters on various aspect of life. The letters were first published by his son’s widow in 1774. Chesterfield endeavoured to decouple the issue of manners from conventional morality, supporting that mastery of etiquette was an important tool for social advancement. The Letters were full of elegant wisdom and perceptive observation and deduction.
Chesterfield epitomised the restraint of polite 18th-century society, writing, for instance, in 1748:
“I would heartily wish that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners; it is the manner in which he mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. …. neither of a melancholy nor a cynical disposition, and am as willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody; but I am sure that since I have had the full use of my reason nobody has ever heard me laugh.
During the Victorian period, etiquette had developed into hydra-headed set of rules, rearing its head in everything; from appearance to manner of how speak, actions, to the appropriate style for writing letters and correct usage of cutlery to the least regulated interactions between different gender; and the different strata in society. However today, etiquette knowldge cuts across Rites of Passage which include Birth, Baptism, and other ceremonies of Childhood, Engagement to be Married, Weddings, Separation and Divorse, Remarrige, Death, Funerals and Memoial Services. The Social Life which encompasses our Private Life in relation to oneself, others, environmemt, society and the globe at large; Royal, Diplomatic and other Formal Events; The Spoken and Written Word, Entertaining, Travelling outside your country, All your Relationships starting from your home to your Business Life and Attitude and Dress Sense. we should be aware that Africans have our culture too which may be slightly different from the general etiquette and there is no society on earth which does not have traditional or conventional rules that regulates their social behaviour. i am saying this because a lot think it is a Westernised Affair and it is only meant for the Whites. let be butress this by asking a question. When you want to get married, are there no procedures that are followed? they are in stages? These fall under Etiquette and Protocol! True or False. Let us make the world a better global village by our polished behavour.

The definition of etiquette can thus be defined thus: Etiquette is an embodiment of knowledge which teaches one how to behavave in any given situation no matter the context putting in mind consideration for others. The definition can also be put this way: Etiquette is a system of conventional rules that regulate social behaviour bearing in mind courtesy, politeness, civility and ethics.. Literally, it means ticket or card, and it refers to the ancient custom of a monarch setting forth ceremonial rules and regulations on these cards to be observed by attendees. It is pronounced /Eti. ket / .

Consideration for others and observance for monarch`s rules has been there as far back Anglo – Saxon time was part of Etiquette. It was even demonstrated in the epic poem Beowulf written 700 A.D when Queen Wealtheow, “mindful of etiquette,” handed the goblet first to the king, then to the courtiers, and finally to herself. Through the centuries, observance of this display of consideration has come to stay and remained unquestioned.

“Mindful etiquette is constant” is constant but etiquette rules are not, just as the world around us is not, for they keep evolving . this why we need to be going for training or keep updating. There are some conventional or traditional aspects of etiquette that have so much to do with our everyday life. They are not farfetched. They include being considerate of others, teaching children, even ourselves table manners, letter writing, gift giving, honouring a wedding, teamwork and getting along with people especially co-workers and family members, formal dinner parties, anniversaries, cocktails and other dated ceremonials. When one is conversant with the etiquette rules and expected behaviour, just as one admires a person when he or she behaves well and properly executes any planned duty, so our dispositions and capabilities are admired and commended too.

Below are words which one can mention as synonymous with etiquette because they all tilt towards having the same meaning:
Etiquette, decorum, social intelligence, proprieties imply observance and knowledge of the formal requirements governing behaviour in Best Society. Etiquette refers to conventional forms and usages: Decorum relates to dignity or poise: a fine sense of decorum.Proprieties implies established conventions of morals and good taste: The lady observes the proprieties always because she does not want embarrassment.
According to W. Thourlby, “People, like diamonds, have a basic market value, but it is only after they have been polished that the world will pay their real value.”
Look at the society today!!Decadence is everywhere. Manners have been thrown to the winds. If I should say, the animals are moreorganised and responsible than some humans; it may not go down well with some people. To some extent, however, it is a fact.

All the same at this point in my life, the zeal, innate urge to be of relevant to my generation, is uppermost in my heart and it is being expressed in black and white(statement made by me 12 years plus ago!). anyway, a story for another day.

You know significant changes through out history have occurred NOT because of armies, committees, nations, and governments, but as result of the courage and commitment of individuals. A voice can make change, even if not a significant one. But remember, change always follows a revolution. We want you to know. In fact, you need to know.

It is time for a meaningful and positive change. Currently, Etiquette is raising its head in all speres of life and we want you not to be left out! Note! Parents are so busy they hardly have time for their kids, let alone teach them deportment. The normal school subjects are not enough.
Etiquette seminars are not meant for students at all levels alone, but for the teachers too, corporate bodies, associations, non-profit organizations, restaurants, hotels, companies etc, name it. Etiquette does not necessarily mean financial strength, but poise, confidence, conscience, good communication, dress sense, being responsible, and ability to handle conflict/criticisms

Debrett`s New Guide to Etiquette & Modern Manners by John Morgan , Headline, 1996

Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette by Nancy Tuckerman and Nancy Dunnan

Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni